GENCO MEMO-6-28-24: Five Unique Negotiating Lessons from Kissinger
I looked into my library and extracted five rarely mentioned lessons from Henry Kissinger's career that you can apply and study further.
Pretty much all courts have the same standing order:
The parties must mediate all cases before the case is allowed to go to trial.
That means that attorneys must be skilled negotiators in addition to doing all the cool stuff in the courtroom.
And I don't mean haggling back and forth on the price of a car or house.
I'm talking about high-stakes litigation where each side has lawyers fighting over money, property, jail time, and, yes, even death.
The Main Point: To give you something more than the ususal “negotiation” advice found in most books and articles by deep-diving an actual practitioner of the art on a was world stage.
So, as we go into the weekend, I grabbed two books on Henry Kissinger to give you a short list of ideas that will change how you approach your next negotiation at work–or even at home.
What are the two books?
The first book is an excellent biography of Kissinger and his life.
The second book is more specific to Kissinger’s negotiating techniques.
Who was Henry Kissinger and why should we listen to him about negotiating?
If you don’t know who Kissinger was, here’s a quick rundown.
The general summary is that Henry Kissinger was one of the most influential and controversial American diplomats who served as United States Secretary of State and National Security Advisor under Presidents Richard Nixon and Gerald Ford.
He was born in Germany in 1923, but he came to the US as a Jewish refugee fleeing Nazi persecution. He is most identified with having played a pivotal role in shaping US foreign policy during the Cold War.
He passed away at 100 years old on November 29, 2023.
But, Kissinger is probably best known for his "realpolitik" approach to international relations, emphasizing practical considerations over ideological principles. In other words, he focused on living and negotiating "in the real world" and not in the world you wish it to be.
Kissinger directly architected several significant diplomatic achievements, including:
Opening relations between the US and China in the early 1970s
Negotiating arms control agreements with the Soviet Union
Mediating in the Middle East, including efforts to end the Yom Kippur War
Why should we study him?
His negotiation expertise stems from his practical experience and academic background. Aside from the world events he was a par of, Kissinger wrote a doctoral thesis at Harvard University focused on international relations, and he later became a professor at the school.
Whether you agree with his ideas or not, there are several reasons why we should consider Kissinger's views on negotiation valuable:
Extensive experience: His long career in diplomacy provided him with firsthand knowledge of high-stakes negotiations. He's not just a person who only knows theory but a person with authentic high-stakes experience.
Theoretical understanding: His academic background gave him a deep understanding of international relations theory. This is a unique aspect of Kissinger; he effectively blended high-level academic understanding with "boots-on-the-ground" practical application.
Long-term perspective: His involvement in world affairs over many decades allows him to offer insights based on historical patterns and long-term trends. Kissinger lived to be 100 years old and, during that time, was able to discern repeating patterns in human dynamics that would be wise to study.
Now, I know that Kissinger remains a very controversial figure.
Many people argue that some of his policies prioritized US interests at the expense of human rights and democracy in other nations. His role in events such as the bombing of Cambodia and support for authoritarian regimes in Latin America has been heavily criticized.
I'm not considering or defending the merits of his policies, but I am more interested in sharing the strategic and tactical insights from which we can all benefit.
One of the key lessons I have learned in life is that general strategic and tactical patterns repeat themselves in the abstract. The point of studying specific people or events in history is to abstract some general principles we can reapply in our own specific situations.
With that in mind, here we go.
What are the ideas I should think about?
There are a lot of good insights in the books, but here are five original ideas that I curated that I believe are worth studying:
Idea No. 1: “Away from the table” Moves
Many people think of "negotiation" as only including talking "at the table." But, Kissinger's negotiating strategy and tactics also encompassed moves "away from the table" taken to improve the odds of a better outcome.
For example, Kissinger would make behind-the-scenes or early moves to include or exclude parties from the process, build or break alliances or coalitions, and improve or worsen an impasse's consequences.
One way to think about it is to imagine negotiation as an iceberg. The visible part above the water represents the formal talks at the table, while the massive, unseen portion below the surface represents the behind-the-scenes maneuvers.
Kissinger would often engage in these behind-the-scenes activities, akin to an iceberg’s hidden mass influencing the visible tip. For instance, the books detail how during the Vietnam War negotiations, Kissinger conducted secret talks with North Vietnamese leaders in Paris long before formal negotiations began, setting the stage for eventual agreements.
Idea No. 2: Wide-angle lens
Kissinger carefully considered the full range of potentially relevant parties. This would include external (from the negotiations and direct parties) and internal (layered within a group or organization) that are potentially involved or positioned to influence the parties. Kissinger would emphasize the broader context and possible links between parties and past, present, and future issues.
In other words, he was always aware of how actions in each of these time tenses could directly or indirectly impact the other.
Kissinger's wide-angle approach meant considering the geopolitical landscape during negotiations. For example, while negotiating with the Soviet Union, he also kept an eye on China, knowing that their relationship with the USSR could impact negotiations.
I apply this approach by visually mapping out all potential parties and influencers, both direct and indirect. I Consider how past interactions with these parties might affect current negotiations and anticipate future implications.
Here is an example of a situation map I did for the initial situation in the book, Dune.
And here’s a high-resolution version if you want to see the details:
Idea No. 3: Strategic Zoom-outs and Individual Zoom-ins
Kissinger was able to balance the strategic (big picture moves) with the tactical (in-the-moment moves) by simultaneously "zooming out" to his overall strategy or long-term objectives and "zooming in" to the characteristics of his counterparts as individual people.
Think of a photographer switching between a wide-angle lens for landscape shots and a macro lens for detailed close-ups.
Kissinger's negotiations with Egypt and Israel post-Yom Kippur War involved broad strategic goals of peace in the Middle East (zooming out) and detailed understanding of Anwar Sadat and Golda Meir's personal and political motivations (zooming in).
The takeaway to to develop a dual-focus strategy.
Outline your long-term objectives and ensure every move aligns with these goals (zooming out). Simultaneously, invest time in understanding the individual personalities and motivations of your counterparts (zooming in).
For instance, in many business cases, I work to maintain focus on long-term business goals while addressing the immediate concerns and preferences of the individual client.
Idea No. 4: Empathetic Assertiveness
Kissinger used both an empathetic and assertive style simultaneously.
An empathetic style is not the same as one demonstrating agreement or sympathy; instead, it involves showing the other side your understanding of their perspective.
At the same time, Kissinger's actions and requests were straightforward and assertive in substance. Of course, he was very skilled and delivered these demands softly during face-to-face negotiations.
Kissinger’s empathetic assertiveness was like a dance where he understood and anticipated the other’s moves while leading confidently. For example, the books describe how during the détente negotiations with the Soviet Union, Kissinger acknowledged Soviet security concerns while firmly asserting U.S. positions on arms control.
The takeaway is to practice active listening and express understanding of the other party’s perspective before presenting your assertive requests.
How: Use phrases like, “I understand that you’re concerned about X, and here’s how we can address it while also achieving Y.”
Idea No. 5: Think Strategically, Act Opportunistically
Many negotiators stick to a strategy or, even worse, a fixed script even as circumstances change, new information surfaces, or actions by the other side undercut the original plan.
By contrast, Kissinger would shift his diplomatic course as circumstances changed while still firmly maintaining long-term objectives.
Think of a chess player who has a long-term strategy but remains flexible, adjusting moves based on the opponent’s actions.
Kissinger’s adaptability was shown during the Vietnam War, where he continuously adjusted his approach based on battlefield developments and political shifts.
The takeaway is to develop a flexible strategy that allows for adjustments based on new information or changing circumstances. Maintain clarity on your long-term goals but be prepared to alter tactics as needed.
Dive Deeper
Here are some additional resources if you want to explore Kissinger’s negotiating lessons further.
Harvard University Blog Post about the deal-making secrets of Henry Kissinger.
Harvard University Kissinger on Negotiation book review with the authors.
Texas State Bar article about the book, Kissinger on Negotiation.
A YouTube documentary on Kissinger’s life and impact on world politics.
That is all.
Have a great weekend.